I believe it was in 2010 that I realized that I am an empath. I don’t remember how I came to know that, but it was suddenly the thing I needed to learn how to manage. I needed to find a way to process all the energy that I would soak up on a daily basis, so I researched online and signed up for a program where they teach empaths to create boundaries and keep their personal energetic spaces clean. None of it worked for me. The only thing that helped me was chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, and it is something I still do. It is very powerful! But chanting took so many hours out of my day I could hardly have a life! It used to be normal for me to chant at least two hours a day, always in the mornings with coffee. There were times that I chanted for four, five and sometimes six hours before I could let off and do something else. At one point I chanted nine hours non-stop! If you want to know why I chanted so much, I was fighting my way out of the depths of hell which had gripped me during most of my time in Austin since I started my self-healing journey (years 2003-2010). My PTSD was so bad that I could hardly do anything at all. I was experiencing extreme flashbacks and constant physical pain all over my body as well as extreme bouts of vertigo that made it difficult for me to even leave the house for a period of 4 or 5 years. (Learn about my story here.)
The combination of healing my own PTSD while also being the empath-healer for so many other people was such a burden on me that I could not do much in terms of getting my own life together (financial, physical health & fitness, projects, etc.) As I healed myself, though, things in life began to improve. I moved to Ithaca, NY, worked at a café that was both fun and generally sane, did a lot of art shows, finished college (at Cornell University), then got a job working in a Texas Government agency (back in Austin). Just a year or so ago, I discovered Pranic Healing, and it has changed so much in my life! As an empath, this is the thing I needed in order to keep my energy in the good. With Pranic Healing you can clean out your own energy system and create energetic boundaries that protect you from other people’s energies and negative thoughts. For example, if you are going into a very stressful situation, you can create an energy field that protects you so that you can remain calm while doing what needs to be done. The best thing about this is that it works. I am so glad to have stumbled upon it! It has helped me in ways that I only dreamed of.
Those of you who are empaths will know what I am talking about; those of you who are not, might need a little explaining. Being an empath is something you’re born with and is not something you can will away, no matter how much you would like to. You might ask yourself why you would want to. Well, it is like being born with an emotional disability; you are highly sensitive to other people’s emotional fields and often pick up others’ pain just by association. For those who are unaware of the fact that they’re an empath, they might seek all kinds of help to treat their ‘depression’ or ‘anxiety’ without knowing that it is not theirs at all. At least not all of it. Until they learn to process their energy and keep themselves in the clear, they will continue to feel emotionally down, anxious or sluggish. It is often hard for them to stay focused on a task in a way that non-empaths are able to do with ease. People who are not empaths have a much easier time in the “real world” doing regular day jobs, high-powered professional careers, and all forms of analytical, brainy, hard-science stuff. Yet empaths do have their own special superpowers. For one, they are nearly impossible to lie to. They are also natural-born experts in detecting anyone with sketchy energy, hidden motives, etc. They can see through many layers of smoke into the truth of a situation in a way that a non-empath would only dream of. Where the non-empaths relay on data, a true empath just knows. What empaths need to learn, though, is to take good care of themselves, create strong boundaries and let go of all the suffering they cannot help. They also need to learn to be true to what they know, and stand firm in their convictions.
All this is what I have had to learn on my own during my many years of spiritual awakening and development. One of the hardest things for me has been to let go of the suffering that others experience. I have wanted so bad to change the world, start a revolution, end all forms of discrimination and hostility against the beautiful soul of humanity, stop animal abuse, and the destruction of our planet. I wish I could do this single-handedly. But I am consistently reminded to let go and let others be. Let it all evolve as it naturally will, and come back to doing the thing that is in front of me. Also, come back to enjoying that which is for me to enjoy. (If you’re not enjoying your life, you cannot fix anything. In fact, you only add to the problem.)
Those of us who are healers, intuitives and empaths know that we have no other choice. We cannot turn our healer selves off. To live happily, we must elevate ourselves to being magical. We must live without suffering while we help heal the suffering of the world. And we must, above all things, drop the guilt. Especially that guilt that creeps in and robs our joy just as we are about to sit down and eat our first nourishing soul-meal in a long, long time! We also need to stand up for ourselves and get far away from the crazymakers (those who always have a drama or emergency right when you are about to do something that is strictly for you and your beautiful self). We need to stand in our power, our knowing, and not let anyone or anything shake us. And if it is us, in our corner, against a world of opposition, so be it. We will win.