Went on an artist date today. Dressed in clothes that make me feel cute, I walked and thought, and dreamed, and changed. I changed. Something has been shifting lately, and it’s connected to the center of all that I am and all that I have been. The foundation I have been standing on my whole life is giving way to a new idea, a new awareness of what life can be. Today, in my walking and dreaming, the outlines became much more bold.
That which was once a nice idea is now no longer on the table for discussion. I’m not negotiating with god.
The old story cracks, crumbles and collapses.
Guilt scampers into a mouse hole.
The queen in me that knows how to rule, is standing up. She is going to set things straight.
My heart comes alive where there is protection. Today I protect myself against the guilt that comes up when I am face to face with a person with a weak idea of themselves. I will no longer pose as their savior. They will discover their own personal strength when they face that which they once thought would kill them. When they wake up again the next day, still alive, they will know. If I keep “saving” people, then they never discover the magnificence of their true selves! Oh, I am doing such a disservice!
The new foundation that is setting in (and it’s moving all on its own) has a whole lot to do with Beauty (with a capital B). As I walked, I thought of the women in the Great Depression and how they would still buy cosmetics, because feeling beautiful helped them survive the difficulty of their circumstance. And so many people think Beauty is a superficial, superfluous, meaningless, Hollywood-indoctrinated thing, and the only thing that matters is inner beauty.
Excuse me! I will have both. There is no way I can be un-beautiful on the inside. No way. Even if I tried, I can’t be. I can be mad and tired, but I still have core beauty. The madness and tiredness is the cloud that passes. The Who-I-Am is gentle and kind to most people. Most is a good number. But I care about make-up and earrings, boots and high heels. Does that mean I’m brainwashed? Does it matter?
Brings me to the point of what really matters in life, my own true happiness or some other person’s idea of what should be valuable to me and what should not. Where there is no beauty I do not dance! And I need to dance!
In a perfect world I would be able to shop at places where it is verified that those who worked to make the product are treated humanely. I would still have the fashion and durability I need, and the peace in my heart because I know the children of the family who make what I wear are taken care of. This needs to be an option! Don’t make ugly things and expect me to buy them out of guilt! That is so low vibration!